I’ve written a blog for a few years, usually to rant and rave about something or to just feel loved. But it’s always been inconsistent. Here is my secret to fixing that problem.
1. Start an MFA in Writing.
2. Sit down everyday to write what you are supposed to be writing.
3. Claim writer’s block.
4. Go to your blog to “get your juices flowing.”
5. Write something dumb.
6. Post it on facebook.
7. Check your stats for the next day.
8. Conveniently use up all of the time you set aside for writing.
9. Repeat the next day.
Simple. Wish I would’ve thought of it earlier. Expensive. Leave me alone, WordPress, I gotta go read Wallace Stevens, and honestly, no matter what my book review says, I have no idea what he is talking about.
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10. Come out of the writing den and ask what everyone is doing.
11. Come out of the writing den and tell everyone to quit bothering you because you are working! (then ask how everyone is doing)
Maybe if Wallace Stevens spent less time looking at a blackbird, we would all know what he is writing about.
“bu-duh psshhhh”
12. Go get a beer to help you relax.
13. Realize you are out or lime and chips, and heck, what good is a beer without lime and chips. . .so you drive to the store.
14. Get home from the store and notice the dog threw up in the kitchen
15. Mop kitchen
16. Repeat # 10 and #11 except that you are coming from the kitchen on the way to the den.
17. Hear them laughing at the newest AI contestants before you get the den door shut.
18. Sit to watch just for a moment while you get back into the writing mindset.
19. . . . . .